Wednesday, August 14, 2013


I went to a baby shower last weekend, and I got to see some people there who I haven't seen in quite some time.  One woman, who knew me from when I was quite young and hasn't really seen me for about 10 years, told me that I was wasting away!  I laughed and told her I was still quite pudgy, and there was no threat of me wasting away anytime soon.

But it got me to thinking about it.  What did I look like the last time she saw me?  I was about 17-18 years old, at my heaviest of 275 pounds, and pretty miserable.  I wouldn't let anyone take any pictures of me because I was so ashamed of how I looked, so when I went looking for some this morning, I had a really hard time actually finding any.  But I did find a few.

Age 17

Here's me in 2001/2002 at my heaviest.  As you can see, I wasn't very happy to have my picture taken!

Age 21/22

Here I am in 2006.  Believe it or not, I was at least 20 pounds lighter in this picture than the first one, but still uncomfortably heavy.

Age 25
This one was taken in 2010, right after losing 30 pounds on a low calorie vegetarian diet.  I was looking and feeling much better, but I was still pudgy.

Age 28

And here I am in January of this year.  I haven't really noticed it, but I have lost more weight since 2010.  And, more importantly, I've gained a lot of muscle.  My weight only dropped about 5 pounds from that last picture, but I lost several inches around my waist and hips and gained an inch around my arms. 

It's funny how I see myself.  I look in the mirror and I still see a fat girl.  I see my big round hips, my belly, my flabby thighs, my bat wings, and sometimes I think to myself, "Man, you're fat.  You should try losing more weight."  But I'm not actually seeing myself for what I really am.  I'm seeing the old me when I look in the mirror.  It's not until I look it the old pictures of me next to the current pictures that I actually realize, wow, I've really come a long way.  Maybe I'm not so fat afterall. 

I think we all are harder on ourselves than we should be.  Maybe I'm not perfect, and I'll never have a model's body, but I'm healthy and I look darn good.  I really wish I had taken more before and after shots, and a bunch of during shots, so I can really look at them now and see how much progress I've really made.  And so that every time I'm tempted to eat junky sugary food, I can look at those pictures to remind myself of how awesome my new way of life is for me. 

Has anyone else had this problem?  You can only see the way you used to look and can't recognize yourself for who you've become after losing weight?  I'm sure I'm not the only one.


  1. Yes you are looking amazing - enjoy what you have achieved. It is interesting looking back on old photos and be assured you look much different to when you were younger!!

    1. Thanks, Lynda! It is interesting looking at old photos, and seeing exactly how far we've come.

  2. Julie, you are absolutely gorgeous, and the loveliness of your soul resonates in those photos (even the heavier ones) and in your writing.

    I'm so very proud of you!

    1. Thanks for you ever encouraging words, Gwen :) It really helps keep me on the right track.