Well, it's been quite a while since I last updated, and I kind of felt like I should say something. I'm sure some of you are worrying about me, and I really hate doing that to people! (I also want to thank the anonymous commenter for reminding me that it has, indeed, been a while since I last posted.)
Truth be told, guys, I needed a little break from the whole paleo/low carb scene for a while. It's incredibly easy to get immersed in everything that's going on and forget that there's more to life than food. Blogging was getting hard for me to keep up, too, because I felt like I was writing what everyone else wanted me to say because I didn't want to argue with anyone. Silly, right? I even started to feel like my own opinions and thoughts were being changed by the opinions of others.
But what really made me take such a long break was an incident where I mentioned that I had messed up and eaten sugar, and the response I got back from my low carb friends was, "You'll never lose weight if you keep eating junk." And it totally hit me, right then and there, that there was something about that mind set that was toxic.
I know that sounds ridiculous. They were just trying to help, offering advice and support. But the thing is, I'm not trying to lose weight. Yes, I'm technically "overweight", and yes, I am a big curvy girl, and society says I should be thinner. But I know in my heart of hearts that I'm at exactly the right weight for me right now. I've done everything I can to lose more weight, and nothing short of starvation has let me get under 182. My options are eat fewer calories and carbs and be cranky and low on energy, or eat more calories and carbs and feel happy and bouncy. But no matter if I eat less or eat more, I'm at 182 and there I sit. And I'm happy with that.
However, being around people that focused super hard on dropping weight started me to believe that I obviously was doing something wrong if eating low carb didn't make me skinny in a hurry. So I started eating less, even though all it did for me was make me grumpy. And when that didn't work, people in the community made me feel like I obviously wasn't trying hard enough. I was very torn. Listen to and respect my body, or punish it until I looked beautiful?
So I ran away. The last time I blogged was really the last time I even read anything diet related on the internet. Since then, I've been sewing! I've been teaching myself how to machine quilt, and it's been very fun. Chad and I have lightened up our eating habits a little bit; we're still low carb paleo, but I don't hold back if I'm hungry for fruit or more starchy vegetables (like sweet potatoes or winter squash). I even made an apple crisp that was mostly low carb except it included (gasp) rolled oats! And you know what? Our weight hasn't changed any, and neither has our moods or health that I know of.
But I know running away isn't the answer here. That's unfair to all of my readers, and really to myself. I liked blogging when I let it flow freely from my heart. So we'll see how this goes. Maybe I'll try blogging again, and not get too obsessed about what everyone else thinks.
Hi - did the comment that upset you happen here... on this blog? I never noticed and I think we've all been very supportive. I totally get that you are at a weight that you are happy and maintaining is far more important than getting to some elusive goal! Eating a low inflammatory diet is the main thing and you are doing that.
ReplyDeleteI have sweet potato and pumpkin (squash over there ??). I eat peas too and carrots. I'm not going to be told by any low carb person that these foods are wrong because I know these sure weren't the foods that got me fat!
Just be true to yourself and if others don't agree then too bad. I do understand thought that when we write something and get negative comments it can hurt very badly - I've been there more than once! I just put an apple crumble recipe up the other day (not with oats) and it was delicious!!
Lynda, truth be told it doesn't really matter where the comment came from because I'm not mad at the person who made it. I just realized that there's a push for perfection that can sometimes be found in this community that bothers me.
DeleteI agree with you too about sweet potatoes and squash (over here a pumpkin is a kind of squash, if that helps, lol). It's certainly not those foods that made me sick in the first place, and I think after over a year of eating low carb paleo, I can safely add those things back into my diet :) They do have lots of good things in them, afterall.
I'll try to be myself :) Thanks for the support. And I'll have to go check out your crumble recipe!
Just be true to yourself on your blog Julie - seriously I don't believe it is all about weight loss. Clearly when someone is trying to lose weight (or expresses that is their desire) then sure advice will be given but don't take it the wrong way.
DeleteSome people in the low carb community are all or nothing people but I believe you have to do what you can stick to - don't make it so hard that you'll give up. I'm sure Gwen agrees - it is about what you do most of the time. As I said, I know the foods that got me fat and I have no problem eating carbs like peas, carrots and sweet potato etc because they are not my danger/trigger foods.
Focus on health - I understand that you are comfortable with your weight and for you it is much more important to maintain your loss. Maybe also don't read blogs/info that does not fit with what you want - you need to be supported not feel put off :)
I said "if you keep eating junk, you won't lose weight." And I totally stand by that comment, and there is nothing toxic about the comment. But I will remove my membership at your blog and won't post here further, to keep from bothering you in the future. that was never my intention; my intention was to help. You yourself in that last post said " Eating clean really makes me feel so good physically." So I was supporting that. Sorry you considered my comments to you toxic.
ReplyDeleteGwen, I never said the comment came from you or even this blog. And even if it was your comment, I did say, "They were just trying to help, offering advice and support." I never said the person was toxic, just the feeling that came from their comment. I'm sorry you got offended, but I am a little bothered by your quickness to bristle.
DeleteGlad you are back. Each person takes their own journey. On to another topic, how is the garden doing and what are you planning to plant next year?. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteI just came across your post and it really hit a note in me. I've started and deleted so many weight loss blogs because of pressure to perform (the truth is I was such a failure at it!!) and when I failed I just felt naked. And a certain blogger would delete you out of their sidebar because you weren't being successful and that just makes you feel rejected and more of a failure. In the end I feel awful about myself. Your post really touched a spot in me that made me just see how true what you said is. I found that some people were so adamant about their eating plan and got kind of preachy and that used to make me feel even worse. I'm not a Paleo person and never will be. I think everyone should do what works for them. I love the Half Size Me blog and the Fit to Fitness one as well. I myself just I started another blog and it's private. Even my Profile is private. I just don't want to share myself at the moment. I might come out of hiding in 5-6 months. I'm trying to get away from the losing weight thing and focus more on healthy eating and exercise. So far I'm doing well with the healthy eating and not so great with the regular exercise. It's a tough world out there and we could all do with a little love. I hope you find your happy place and are able to do what works for you.
ReplyDeleteSharon, thank you so much for your comment. It's nice to know I'm not the only one out here in the blog world who feels like that, like I'm being watched and judged. You did the right thing to start a private blog so you can work this all out by yourself without anyone else telling you what's right for you. I wish you lots of luck on your journey :)
DeleteIt's been awhile, hope everything is okay.
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog and really enjoyed your posts. Please continue, I love your recipes and want to hear about your garden.
ReplyDelete