It's been a crazy ride since I left for vacation in late August. It feels like my life hasn't really gotten back to normal since then! Along with my daily routine being disrupted, my healthy eating habits have taken a back seat as well, and I can really feel it affecting me.
I haven't given up my low carb diet exactly. It's like I'm eating the way I used to, only with junk food thrown in. So I'll have eggs and bacon in the morning, but I might add in cheesecake sometime mid morning, or after a healthy dinner of taco salad, I'll go out and have ice cream.
To be honest, since having the bad experience with my family on my birthday, I haven't really felt right. I've been mopey and depressed, and I can't justify eating properly because I'm so down in the dumps. I think to myself, if life sucks so hard, why bother eating well? Of course I know that eating badly also makes me depressed, so it's a vicious cycle.
So today I decided enough is enough. No more junky foods. I had a cup of caffeinated coffee (a rarity for me) to help get me perked up so I won't be tempted to make myself feel better with sugar, and my goal is to eat no sugar or wheat just for today. If I can get through today, then I can get through tomorrow, and then the day after. But it starts with one day.
I don't like living in a dark funk like this. I mean, I used to be this way all the time, depressed, lonely, feeling like there was no reason to treat myself right. When I started eating low carb last year, I came out of that funk and I really haven't been that depressed until recently. I hate this feeling of being useless and hopeless, and I want to get out of it as soon as possible, and I know I can't do that until I start eating right and giving my body the care it deserves.
So I have to chase down that wagon, but I'm going to get back on it.