Thursday, April 4, 2013

The Bumpy Road

Life doesn't always go the way you plan it.  I know this pretty well by now, but nevertheless, it always throws me for a loop when something unexpected happens in my life. 

Like, for instance, having someone turn left in front of our car at high speed, totaling our car and leaving us scrambling to buy a new one.  I think I was more dead weight than anything for my poor husband the whole week.  The accident left me mildly traumatized, and I found it hard to do even the most basic chores. 

Needless to say, the first part of my life that suffered was my diet.  I'm a stress eater.  When I'm under pressure of any kind, I try to ease my anxiety with food.  At first I tried to eat healthy foods, because I knew I didn't want to eat junk when my body and mind were already having problems.  But I couldn't stop myself.  Pretty soon, I found the sugar, and the rest is just a sweet blur. 

(Admittedly, I indulged in much smaller amounts of sugar than I would have back in my calorie counting days.  Today, I consider indulging as eating one or two servings of sweets a day, whereas in the past I've been known to inhale a whole bag of candy in an attempt to make myself feel better.)

I really hate when I lose control of my eating habits.  My brain is saying "hey, don't eat that", but my mouth is saying "shut up, you goody-two-shoes!  Can't you see I need this?".  The sad part is that it's never as good as I think it's going to be. 

And now that I've been eating junk foods for about a week, I've been finding it hard to get back into the swing of eating real food.  My sugar cravings are killing me, and I'm having trouble resisting food between meals.  Sigh.  I think for now I'll focus mostly on just staying away from sugar, and once the cravings go away, I'll cut out in between meal snacking again. 

The next time something like this happens, I'm going to try harder to be good to myself.

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