Some Thoughts

I ranted a little bit the other day about how I really wanted to be skinny sometimes, but that I'm afraid to try anything extreme to actually get there for fear it would hurt my body or, should I get pregnant, my baby's body.  I got a lot of advice and some well wishing from folks, and I thank you all for your concern.  That was really touching.

I've been thinking about it a little bit, and I decided that even though I don't want to do anything extreme, such as cutting calories or trying to get into nutritional ketosis, I think I will make some changes.  I'll admit that I've gotten a little lax in my eating habits.  I don't mean to say that I've started eating bad foods regularly; I'm still grain, soy, gluten, seed oil, and sugar free most of the time.  But there are times where I find myself emotional eating, or worse, boredom eating.  Yes, I'm eating good foods, but the fact that I'm eating when I'm not actually hungry?  That's probably not good, right?

My thinking is that I'm going to try doing the No S Diet again, which basically means no snacks between meals, no seconds, and no sweets; of course, I'll still be eating the healthy low carb, whole foods that I already eat, only less often.  I tried this method before, and it does seem to help.  I only stopped doing it because I had a lot of emotional stress at one point that sent me right to munching between meals.

What I like about this plan is that if I get hungry between meals, I drink a glass of water or seltzer, which is very good.  I oftentimes get so full at mealtimes that I don't have room left for water, and I don't always remember to drink it between meals.  And drinking lots of water, aside from aiding digestion and being cleansing, also helps with a woman's fertility by increasing fertile cervical fluids.  There's your fertility lesson for the day.

I also am going to try having a 0 carb breakfast to keep the natural morning ketosis going until lunchtime.  I told a commenter that I already eat 0 carbs for breakfast, but I remembered later that this isn't actually true.  I usually have 1/2 a cup of plain full fat yogurt, or 1/3 a cup of cottage cheese with my eggs and bacon.  So I'm going to cut the dairy out in the morning and see if that makes a difference.

I do want to lose more weight.  At 185 pounds, I'm not skinny; I'm not exactly fat (I wear size 14 pants and large shirts), but I have rolls and flab I would love to get rid of.  But at the same time, I don't want food to become an obsession.  I actually enjoy the carefree relationship I have with food right now.  I know what I can and can't eat, and I eat what I want.  I don't lose any weight, but I'm certainly not gaining back any of the 90 pounds I lost.  So that's why I don't want to go into full diet mode.

When I look back at the time I was on a low calorie diet, it's worrying.  I was so obsessed with food at that point that it was all I did all day long.  Reading articles, tracking food, counting calories, denying my deep gnawing hunger.  When I think about it now, it almost seems like an eating disorder, or at least the beginnings of one.  The last thing I ever want to do is become so obsessed with food that I start hurting myself or my family.

That's why I'm only taking small steps.  I'm healthy right now; I'm fit, active, happy, and strong.  I don't want to do anything that might jeopardize that.